GayCultureLand: R.E.M. part 4

In 1991, R.E.M. released the album Out Of Time, preceded by the release of the single Losing My Religion. With these releases, R.E.M. ascended to the upper echelons of the superstar scale. The new found popularity made the press hungry for R.E.M. news and they zeroed in on Michael Stipe's sexuality.

Around 1992, rumors that Stipe had contracted HIV began to circulate. According to Stipe, he did not start the rumor and he does not know who did: "... Not that I can tell. I wore a hat that said "White House Stop AIDS". I'm skinny. I've always been skinny, except in 1985, the last time I shaved my head. I was really sick then. Eating potatoes. I think AIDS hysteria would obviously and naturally extend to people who are media figures and anybody of indecipherable or unpronounced sexuality. Anybody who looks gaunt, for whatever reason. Anybody who is associated, for whatever reason – whether it's a hat, or the way I carry myself – as being queer-friendly.

In 1994, Stipe described himself as "an equal opportunity lech", and said he did not define himself as gay, straight or bisexual, but that he was attracted to, and had relationships with, both men and women. In 1995 he described himself as a queer artist and in 2001 he revealed that he had been in a relationship with "an amazing man" for three years at that point. In 2004, when asked if he ever declares himself as gay, Stipe stated, "I don't. I think there's a line drawn between gay and queer, and for me, queer describes something that's more inclusive of the grey areas."

The man wants to come out without losing his individuality and uniqueness. I believe that this is a common concern to all of us when we're coming out: we are very much that, but we are also so much more than that.

Back to Losing My Religion: before I talk about the public appraisal of the song, here's my private appraisal: R.E.M.'s best song ever, my favorite song of the 90s by any act and in the Top 10 of my favorite songs of all time. It's also a song that I have a special spiritual connection to.

Despite its title, the song is not about religion. The phrase "losing my religion" in the American South means losing one's temper or being at the end of one's rope. The song, according to Stipe, is about someone who pines for someone else, about unrequited love.

I think Michael is being modest: there is an existential quality to the song's lyrics and multiple ways to reading them. In fact, depending on your state of mind when you hear the song, the lyrics can take a whole new meaning every time.

It's not just the lyrics: Peter Buck's mandolin-playing takes the song to new heights. Also the song's video, directed by Tarsem Singh (The Cell, Mirror, Mirror) is probably my favorite music video of all time.

The song became R.E.M.'s biggest hit in the U.S., peaking at No. 4 on the Hot 100. It was #1 in the Netherlands and Belgium and a big hit in almost every civilised country in the world. It won 2 Grammies and is included on The rock and Roll Hall of Fame's list of 500 Songs that Shaped Rock and Roll. Here it is:

The album Out Of Time went to #1 in most major markets, inluding the US, the UK, Canada, France, Italy, the Netherlands and Austria. It went on to sell close to 5m in the US and more than 18m worldwide. It was a good album, but Losing My Religion was so huge that no other song in the album came even close to it. That created a question of balance, which hindered the album's attempt to achieve greatness. Here are some more songs off the album.

The opening song, is Radio Song, featuring KRS-One: