Hello, my friends, old and new! I woke up feeling rather blue today. Here's hoping that this countdown will lift up my spirits.
Let's begin with our bonus track, from one of the soundtracks that Nick Cave wrote in his long and illustrious career. Ghosts... of the Civil Dead (1988) was the first collaboration of several between Came and Australian film director John Hillcoat. Cave not only composed the score, he also co-wrote the screenplay. This track that I've chosen has the eloquent title I Was 16 When They Put Me In Prison:
At #65 and at #64 in our countdown, there are two songs from the first ever recorded album that Nick Cave appeared on; even before The Birthday Party, we had the Boys Next Door. They released the album Door, Door in 1979,a frantic, edgy, and surprisingly catchy piece of post-punk mayhem. The song at #65 is a song that back in the early days of the Internet was considered by some to be a gay-themed song. I was researching gay-themed songs at the time - and in a chat-room, Roman Roman was mentioned. I mean, the chorus goes, "Roman Roman you're so cute / Roman Roman substitute / Please be honest please be true / Roman Roman I love you."
Doing my research, however, I realized that this is not the case. the song,a frenzied schoolyard chant that hints at the anarchic pandemonium the group could create on-stage, is a satirical take on Roman Polanski and his infamous case of statutory rape of a 13-year-old girl, which forced him to flee the US and which is particularly relevant in today's climate. The last verse goes:
"Oh it was cool in May And she was only 13 Oh it's a crying shame Roman you looked too good Hats off to Roman Polanski They never gave him a chanceski When he took down his pantski He had nothing on manski"
Unfortunately, the song is nowhere to be found on YouTube, Vimeo, or Dailymotion. It is found on Spotify, iTunes, Apple Music, etc. If you are a Deezer member, you can listen to it here:
At #64 is the album's opening track, The Nightwatchman. The album starts out in high gear with The Nightwatchman, replete with ringing guitar figures, a boppy punk-pop chorus (yes, those are "ooh-ooh-ooh-oohs" you're hearing), and dirty sax lines.
The song's gothic atmosphere is punctuated by the lyrics:
"Don't watch the nightwatchman He cries a lonely tear Locked up in his little tower He's been there a hundred years
And he's waiting for you tonight Don't watch the nightwatchman He finds it hard to say hello"
At #63 is a song called Bellringer Blues. It is found on the album Grinderman 2 (2010), by the Grinderman, otherwise known as Mini Seeds. The album is a more polished and studied affair than its predecessor, but it's a more sonically adventurous, white-hot rock & roll record. Nothing really prepares the listener for Bellringer Blues, though. It sounds akin to Loop, Spiritualized, and Ash Ra meeting careening 21st-century garage rock, as distorted backmasked loops of guitar, organ, and drums drive spooky chanted vocals that churn, rumble and crack in response.
The lyrics are appropriately ominous:
"It makes slaves of all of womankind And corpses of men And I just don't know And we care a little bit We get scared a little bit Of those two cold dead eyes That stare a little bit And we cry a little bit And we get by a little bit Let your tears All come falling down
Put me on a big white steed! Ride it up and down your street! Wrapped in a crimson coat! Sail me in a green big boat! I'll sail around the waters for you Kill your sons and daughters for you! Put me on a big white horse! Send me down to Banbury Cross!
It's OK Joe, it's time to go"
This is the Nick Zinner Remix:
Here they are, live at C-Halle, Berlin:
At #62 is a song that belongs to yet another band led by Cave: The Birthday Party. The song is the title track of their second and final full studio album, Junkyard (1982). Right from its start, nobody held back on anything, Cave's now-demonic vocals in full roar while the rest of the players revamped rhythm & blues and funk into a blood-soaked cabaret exorcism. Nearly every tune is a Birthday Party classic one way or another, from the opening slow, sexy grind of She's Hit, Cave's freaked tale of death and destruction matched by clattering percussion and a perversely crisp guitar from Howard, to the ending title track's crawl toward a last gruesome ending. One of the finest tracks from that album, this perfectly captured the band's feral punk. As per the lyrics:
"One dead marine through the hatch Scratch and scrape this Heavenly body Every inch of winning skin There's junk in honey's sack again"
New York no wave legend Lydia Lunch has this to say for the song:
"I first met The Birthday Party on their first trip to New York. It was obvious Rowland [S Howard] and I were going to unleash something together. We just clicked. Nick Cave and I were like two alien sub-species shadow-boxing with our diametric opposites. Exciting, incomprehensible, chemically imbalanced. Junkyard is the most incredibly raunchy slab of pathos ever recorded. A sledgehammer of raging libido spiraling into murderous perversity. Soaked in bloodlust and riddled with the contaminants of love's dirty remains. Slick with the sticky pus of a sick twist's wet dream, it's a filthy grind of roadhouse black'n'blues spiked with punked jazz where hammering drums, degenerate bass and the razor slice of Rowland's 'six strings that drew blood' set the stage for The King to thunder, threaten and ultimately massacre any would-be contender to the heathen's sleazy throne. Ferocious. Masterful. Demented. It still gives me goosebumps.
Why does such a prolific artist have such consistently high-quality output? C'mon, it's like asking me to comment on my own insanity!"
This is the studio version:
This is a live version found on the DVD Pleasure Heads Must Burn:
Finally for today, at #61, is the title track from the album Push the Sky Away (2013), credited to Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. So, unintentionally, today we've heard songs from Boys Next Door, The Birthday Party, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Grinderman, and Nick Cave, the film soundtrack composer. That was a quick, albeit incomplete, journey throughout the man's career.
Describing Push the Sky Away in the album's press release, Nick Cave said, "if I were to use that threadbare metaphor of albums being like children, then Push The Sky Away is the ghost-baby in the incubator and Warren's loops are its tiny, trembling heart-beat."
The album's sequencing makes it feel like a long, moody suite. The title track rises from the ether, driven by guest (and former Bad Seed) Barry Adamson's bassline and Ellis' eerie organ, which takes the foreground. It's a paean of determination in the face of grievous loss.
This verse is about being your own person:
"And if your friends think that you should do it different And if they think that you should do it the same You've gotta just keep on pushing and, keep on pushing and Push the sky away"
"Some people say it's just rock'n'roll," he concludes, "but it gets you right down to your soul." Amen. This is the studio version:
This version is live at The Fonda Theatre, LA:
Now, let's continue with last week's statistics; there was a 25% decrease in the number of weekly visits, but it was still the 5th best week of the year so far, out of 9. I'm still satisfied.
All of the week's stories did well; the Nick Cave countdown first and foremost, but it was closely followed by the Marlene Dietrich story. The Mae West story is less than 24-hours-old and it looks like it will soon reach the same levels of visits as the others.
As far as countries are concerned, France and Turkey still very much impress with their number of visits: In fact, if the trend continues, France could "steal" the all-time #1 position from the United States, which again has suffered the biggest losses,as soon as a week from now. Tick, tock, my American friends... Turkey, on the other hand, has replaced the United Arab Emirates in our all-time top 10 for the first time. My Turkish friends, you're among the big players now...
They were joined by the United Kingdom and Italy, both of which had a great week. which scored a really impressive week. South Africa did well, Canada and Cyprus did OK, while, Greece, Russia, and Germany, kept dropping.
Here are this week's Top 10 countries.
1. France
2. the United Kingdom
3. the United States
4. Turkey
5. Italy
6. Greece
7. Canada
8. Cyprus
9. South Africa
10. Germany
Here are the other countries that graced us with their presence since our last statistics (alphabetically): Afghanistan, Argentina, Australia, Austria, the Bahamas, Bangladesh, Belgium, Bolivia, Brazil, Bulgaria, Cameroon, Chile, China, Costa Rica, Croatia, Czechia, Denmark, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Egypt, Finland, Georgia, Guadeloupe, Honduras, Hong Kong, Iceland, India, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Jamaica, Japan, Kenya, Laos, Lebanon, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malawi, Malaysia, Mexico, Morocco, Nepal, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Nicaragua, Norway, Peru, the Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, Singapore, Slovenia, South Korea, Spain, Suriname, Sweden, Switzerland, Syria, Taiwan, Thailand, Trinidad & Tobago, Ukraine, the United Arab Emirates, Uruguay, US Virgin Islands, Venezuela, Vietnam, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. Happy to have you all!
Today's Gay Icon involves a woman who was an American actress, singer, playwright, screenwriter, comedian, and sex symbol whose entertainment career spanned seven decades. She was an incredibly clever woman, as witty as Oscar Wilde, who became a millionairess and also fought for women's and gay rights. She is the inimitable Mae West.
West was born in Bushwick, Brooklyn on August 17, 1893, having been delivered at home by an aunt who was a midwife. She was the eldest surviving child of John Patrick West and Matilda "Tillie" Delker (sometimes spelled "Dilker"). Delker and her five siblings emigrated with their parents, Jacob and Christiana, from the German state of Bavaria in 1886. West's parents married on January 18, 1889, in Brooklyn and reared their children as Protestants, although John West was of mixed Catholic-Protestant descent and Matilda "Tillie" Delker was of Jewish descent.
Her father was an occasional prizefighter and livery-stable owner and her mother had been a corset and fashion model. The blond Mae took dancing lessons and then participated in the first of many amateur-night performances at the Royal Theater on Fulton Street in Brooklyn. Wearing a pink and green satin dress with gold spangles, she sang and danced ''Movin' Day'' with what she later called ''innocent brazenness'' and won first prize.
Within a year, she had worked her way into Hal Clarendon's stock company, and from the ages of 8 to 11 played such roles as the moonshiner's daughter, Little Nell, and the child who stepped through swinging saloon doors looking for a drunken father.
Little attention was paid to her schooling; occasional private tutoring ended when she went onto the vaudeville circuit at 13. Determined to become as big a star as Sarah Bernhardt and Nora Bayes, she teamed onstage with William Hogan, an actor and family friend. On the same bill was Frank Wallace, a song-and-dance man. They worked out what West later described as a ''very flashy act - loud opening, chic costumes, patter, comic love song ('I Love It') and a good get-off.'' The young entertainers were secretly married on April 11, 1911, in Milwaukee. Miss West then developed a single act, helped Mr. Wallace find a job with a show that was going on the road for 40 weeks, and thus informally dissolved both her professional and conjugal unions.
By September of that year, West was a show-stopper in her first major theatrical revue, ''A La Broadway and Hello Paris,'' doing a song and dance titled They Are Irish, in which she was backed by an ensemble of 24. Secretly, during rehearsals, she had written extra choruses in various dialects for her production numbers. On opening night, she was called back for seven encores and stunned the producers by having a new verse ready for each.
Two months later, West appeared with Al Jolson in a Shubert show, ''Very Violetta.'' After these successes, she returned to vaudeville as a star. When she reached New Haven with her new act, the Mae West style that had been evolving caused an interruption in the tour. As a newspaper headline put it: ''Her Wriggles Cost Mae West Her Job.'' Disturbed by her ''curves in motion,'' the management discharged Mae. Disappointed Yale students then rioted and wrecked the theater.
West changed her act as often as she changed her costumes. However, the essential ingredients remained constant: a swaying, sin-promising strut; a nonchalant and lazy delivery of lines, breaking every word into as many syllables as possible and accenting each one (fas-cin-a-tin'); the simultaneous caress of her undulating hip with one hand and her chiseled blond hair with the other; and arrogant gestures, one of the best known of which was the impatient kick with which she flipped aside the train of her gown.
Playing opposite Ed Wynn in Arthur Hammerstein's ''Sometime,'' with music by Rudolf Friml, Miss West introduced the shimmy to the Broadway stage in 1918. In the shimmy, there was hardly any movement of the feet, but continuous movement of the shoulders, torso, and pelvis. She had seen the dance at black cafes in Chicago.
After World War I, West developed a nightclub act, and with Harry Richman as her pianist and straight man, took it on the road before turning to playwriting. ''I only knew two rules of playwriting,'' she said. ''Write about what you know, and make it entertaining. So that's why I wrote it the way I did, on a subject I was interested in - sex.'' And ''Sex'' was finally selected as the name of the play, which was produced by Mae West, her mother, and James Timony, a lawyer who became her manager and long-time associate.
''Sex'' opened in New London, Conn., before an audience of 85 people, but by the second performance, the men from the naval base had assured the play's financial success. When it opened in New York in April 1926, with Miss West as its star, the play's notoriety had preceded it, and it played to a full house despite the refusal of New York newspapers to carry advertisements for it.
That show was soon deemed indecent, earning her a 10-day jail sentence. She took a limo to prison and said she wore silk underwear throughout her detention. Her next play, "The Drag" proved no less controversial: it lasted for 10 performances before it was banned.
Why the fuss? Partly because West was a woman writing about sexuality and, in particular, gay male sexuality. "The Drag", subtitled "A Homosexual Comedy in Three Acts" and written under the pseudonym Jane Mast, is about the cost of living with a secret life. Its hero is a closeted gay socialite, Rolly Kingsbury, who comes 'from one of the finest families' and is trapped in a loveless marriage. Rolly's father is a homophobic judge, his father-in-law a therapist who specializes in gay conversion. West herself had been a male impersonator early in her career, and the play culminates in an elaborate drag ball, with largely improvised dialogue and a jazz band on stage.
"The Drag" was inspired by her many gay friends. She knew their daily struggles to be open about their relationships, and to be accepted for who they were. When casting the play, she actively sought out gay actors. As a playwright, she is compassionate, but also very funny. From performing in stage revues and burlesques, West had gained a reputation as a sex symbol and, as someone who was subjected to it herself, she had a particular understanding of the male gaze. This gave her an interesting angle when writing from a homosexual man's point of view.
West's casting of gay men was incendiary at a time when the actors' union barred them from parts with lines. Likewise, the manner in which she auditioned them: open casting calls at a gay bar in Greenwich Village. In her autobiography, she claimed to have "helped a lot of gay boys along" by casting them at a time when "producers never gave speaking parts to homosexuals."
When it opened in Connecticut, "The Drag" was a success with audiences, although Variety called it "an inexpressibly brutal and vulgar attempt to capitalize on a dirty matter for profit." West had hoped it would run on Broadway but it never made it. One Broadway producer said it was "the worst possible play I have ever heard of contemplating an invasion of New York" and that it "strikes at the heart of decency."
West's take was that audiences were "too childlike to face like grownups the problem of homosexuals." "The Drag" was just too risque for the mainstream. West rewrote the play a year later as "The Pleasure Man", sanitizing it by making the lead character straight, but she still faced criticism for it being too explicit. Like "Sex", "The Pleasure Man" eventually landed her in court.
Mae West and diamonds were almost synonymous even before the creation of her most memorable character, Diamond Lil. ''I hadn't started out to collect diamonds, '' she said, ''but somehow they piled up on me.'' The onstage Diamond Lil was a singer in a Bowery saloon of the 1890's - a bad girl with a good heart, who murdered her girlfriend, wrecked a Salvation Army hall and sang Frankie and Johnny.The play opened in Brooklyn in April 1928, and Robert Garland, drama critic of The New York Evening Telegram, said that ''it's worth swimming to Brooklyn to see her descend those dancehall stairs and be present while she lolls in a golden bed reading The Police Gazette.'' ''Diamond Lil'' ran for 323 performances in New York and then went on tour.
In 1932, two years after ''Diamond Lil'' played in Los Angeles, West was back in Hollywood to make her first movie - Night After Night, George Raft's first starring picture. William LeBaron, the producer, gave her permission to rewrite her own role. Miss West described her most notable addition to the scenario as follows: ''On screen, I walked into George Raft's fashionable clipjoint, and the checkroom girl took one look at all the diamonds I was wearing and exclaimed, 'Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!' 'Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie,' I replied."
West went on to make motion-picture history with She Done Him Wrong, the film version of ''Diamond Lil,'' and I'm No Angel, both of which were made in 1933. For the first time, West selected as the male lead a ''sensational-looking young man'' whom she spotted walking along the studio street. ''If he can talk,'' she said, ''I'll take him.'' That man was Cary Grant.
She Done Him Wrong went on to gain a Best Picture Oscar nomination, the first sexually daring movie to ever do so, as well as the last for two decades. In this film, Mae performed three songs: I Wonder Where My Easy Rider's Gone:
A Guy What Takes His Time:
... As well as Frankie and Johnny:
Having really gelled with Cary Grant, she starred with him again in I'm No Angel. The film was the most profitable picture produced during the 1933 season, according to The Motion Picture Herald, and contributed to the $339,166.65 that Mae West earned in 1934, a huge amount at the time. They Call Me Sister Honky-Tonk was one of the movie's songs - and it contained one of her most famous lines, "come up 'n' see me sometime":
Also from this film, That Dallas Man:
... I Found a New Way to Go to Town:
... The title track, I'm No Angel:
... And finally, I Want You, I Need You:
Although Mae West and W.C. Fields are frequently associated in the public mind, they made only one film together, My Little Chickadee (1940). Her other films were Belle of the Nineties (1934), Goin' to Town (1935), Klondike Annie (1936), Go West, Young Man (1936), Every Day's a Holiday (1938) and The Heat's On (1943).
From Belle of the Nineties, this is Memphis Blues:
... This is My Old Flame:
... And this is When a St. Louis Woman Goes Down to New Orleans:
Goin' to Town includes the following songs: He's a Bad Man (But He's Good for Me):
... Now I'm a Lady:
... Most surprisingly, she sings, in a duo, Mon Coeur S'Ouvre A Ta Voix,the aria from Saint Saëns' Samson And Delilah:
Klondike Annie introduced us to Mister Deep Blue Sea:
... I'm an Occidental Woman in an Oriental Mood For Love:
... And finally, Little Bar Butterfly:
Go West, Young Man included I Was Saying To The Moon (the song begins halfway through the video):
Every Day's a Holiday introduced us to Mademoiselle Fifi:
My Little Chickadee included Willie of the Valley:
The Heat's On introduced us to I'm Just a Stranger in Town:
In one of her last Broadway appearances, Mae West dramatized the story of Catherine the Great of Russia and surrounded herself with ''an imperial guard'' of muscular young actors, all over 6 feet tall. ''Catherine Was Great,'' produced by the late Mike Todd, one of Elizabeth Taylor's husbands, opened in New York in 1944, and went on a long national tour in 1945.
When Mae West revived her 1928 play Diamond Lil, bringing it back to Broadway in 1949, The New York Times labeled her an "American Institution - as beloved and indestructible as Donald Duck. Like Chinatown, and Grant's Tomb, Mae West should be seen at least once." In the 1950s, West starred in her own Las Vegas stage show at the newly opened Sahara Hotel, singing while surrounded by bodybuilders. The show stood Las Vegas on its head. "Men come to see me, but I also give the women something to see: wall to wall men!" West explained. Jayne Mansfield met and later married one of West's muscle men, a former Mr. Universe, Mickey Hargitay.
The 1957 Oscar show included an unexpected duet: Baby, It's Cold Outside, with Rock Hudson and Mae West. The performance brought a standing ovation:
When casting about for the role of Norma Desmond for the 1950 film Sunset Boulevard, Billy Wilder offered West the role. Still smarting from the censorship debacle of The Heat's On, and the constraints placed on her characterization, she declined. The theme of the Wilder film, she noted, was pure pathos, while her brand of comedy was always "about uplifting the audience". Mae West had a unique comic character that was timeless, in the same way Charlie Chaplin did. After Mary Pickford also declined the role, Gloria Swanson was cast. In subsequent years, West was offered the role of Vera Simpson, opposite Marlon Brando, in the 1957 film adaptation of Pal Joey, which she turned down, with the role going to Rita Hayworth. In 1964, West was offered a leading role in Roustabout, starring Elvis Presley. She turned the role down, and Barbara Stanwyck was cast in her place. West was also approached for roles in Frederico Fellini's Juliet of the Spirits and Satyricon, but rejected both offers.
When approached for permission to allow her likeness on The Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album cover, West initially refused, asking, "What would I be doing in a Lonely Heart's Club?" The Beatles wrote her a personal letter declaring themselves great admirers of the star and persuaded her to change her mind.
In the 1970s, West appeared in two films - and, as was her style, they were both outrageous in their own way. Myra Breckinridge, adapted from Gore Vidal's (then) scandalous novel, starred Raquel Welch and the cast also included people like Rex Reed, John Huston, Farrah Fawcett, and John Carradine. West was cast as Leticia Van Allen. Here she is with the two songs that she sings in the film, You Gotta Taste All the Fruit and Hard to Handle:
Her last film came out in 1978. Sextette was an outrageous comedy that had an unusual mixture of artists - young (future James Bond, Timothy Dalton), mature (George Hamilton, Tony Curtis, Dom DeLuise), and old (Walter Pidgeon, George Raft), as well as an assortment of Rock and R&B stars (Ringo Starr, Keith Moon, Alice Cooper, and Van McCoy).
Was it successful? Well, the film critics of that time were condemning. Variety wrote, "Sextette is a cruel, unnecessary and mostly unfunny musical comedy." But then again, West was used to bad reviews. I personally think that this falls under the "it's so bad that it's good" category.
This is the official trailer for Sextette (1978):
Here are Mae West & Timothy Dalton singing their take of Captain & Tenille's Love Will Keep Us Together:
This is Mae with her cover of Neil Sedaka's Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen, more appropriately retitled Happy Birthday Twenty One:
This is Alice Cooper serenading Mae:
On November 22, 1980,Mae West, the Diamond Lil of filmdom, died at 7:00 a.m. at her home in Los Angeles. She was 87 years old. Her death was confirmed by the Los Angeles County Police Department, which said she died apparently of natural causes in the wake of a stroke she suffered three months before. She was buried in the same cemetery where her mother, father, and brother were buried, in one of the five crypts she bought when her mother died in 1930. A younger sister survived her.
According to Stanley Musgrove, her longtime friend and former manager, Mae West became ill that morning. A doctor who was called by Paul Novak, her companion for her last 26 years, informed him that Miss West was dying. Although she was a Presbyterian, Novak summoned a priest from a Roman Catholic church a hundred yards away from their Ravenswood apartment. Immediately after the priest's blessing, she fell into a peaceful sleep, according to Musgrove, and within five minutes she was dead. Funeral arrangements are being made by Novak, who met Mae West when he was a member of her nightclub act. There was a private, invitational funeral service at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Hollywood Hills.
Except for her short-lived (just a few weeks) marriage to Frank Wallace in 1911, West never married again. In August 1913, she met an Italian-born vaudeville headliner and star of the piano-accordion, Guido Deiro. Her affair went "very deep, hittin' on all the emotions." West later said, "Marriage is a great institution. I'm not ready for an institution yet."
Among West's other boyfriends was boxing champion William Jones, nicknamed 'Gorilla Jones'. When the management at her Ravenswood apartment building barred the African-American boxer from entering the premises, West solved the problem by buying the building and lifting the ban. They had known each other since he was 22, and he became her boyfriend, chauffeur, and bodyguard. West was his employer, friend, and supporter until her death in 1980. He died 13 months later.
West had a relationship with James Timony, an attorney 15 years her senior, in 1916, when she was a vaudeville actress. Timony was also her manager. By the time West was an established movie actress in the mid-1930s, they were no longer a couple. West and Timony remained extremely close, living in the same building, working together, and providing support for each other until Timony's death in 1954.
At 61, West became romantically involved with one of the musclemen in her Las Vegas stage show, wrestler, former Mr. California, and former merchant marine Chester Rybinski. He was 30 years younger than West and later changed his name to Paul Novak. He soon moved in with her, and their romance continued until West's death in 1980 at age 87. Novak once commented, "I believe I was put on this Earth to take care of Mae West."
Being lifetime friends with former lover usually attest to a person being good. I believe that West was a good person, incredibly intelligent, and quite revolutionary - she fought sexism, racism, and homophobia the best she could.
This story wouldn't be complete without some of Mae's famous quotes. I broke out laughing quite frequently as I was copying them...
"Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from."
"I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it."
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."
"Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
"When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better."
"I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure."
"I'm single because I was born that way."
"Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere."
"I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing."
"A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up."
"It's not the men in your life that matters, it's the life in your men."
"Don't cry for a man who's left you - the next one may fall for your smile."
"All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else."
"Sex is an emotion in motion."
"Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided."
"I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it."
"Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often."
"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!"
"It is better to be looked over than overlooked."
"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
"Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier."
"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
"If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!"
"When women go wrong, men go right after them."
"Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one."
"The score never interested me, only the game."
"She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong."
"One more drink and I'll be under the host."
"Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art."
"No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most."
"I've been in more laps than a napkin."
"It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect."
"Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for years."
"A hard man is good to find."
"Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired."
"Brains are an asset if you hide them."
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
"What's the good of resisting temptation? There'll always be more."
These are some of Mae West's funniest lines from her movies... All together in a single video. She wrote all of them herself:
I would like to end this story with a very interesting interview that Mae West gave to Charlotte Chandler, a year before her death:
Mae West held out her hand to me. As I took it, I scratched my palm on one of her diamond rings. All of her fingers were covered with diamonds. These, she explained, were just her "daytime diamonds". Holding out her hands, she said, "They're all real. They were given to me by admirers." Her gaze settled on my unadorned hands. "Oh, you poor kid! You don't have any!"
For a moment she regarded me with pity. Then she brightened. "But you have some at home?"
I shook my head.
She studied me, then said encouragingly, "You could, honey. But you've gotta try, and you've gotta know how to try. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it. There's nothing better in life than diamonds."
Mae West had been giving no interviews at all. She already knew all the people she wanted to know, especially in light of the hours she felt compelled to spend on hair, makeup and dress before she could see anyone. I had cost her three hours, but it would have been double that if I had been a man. If she were going to see anyone at all, a man would have been preferable any day, and especially any night.
"They always sent a man," she told me, not specifying who "they" were. "I considered spending my time with girls a waste of time, so I didn't mingle with any." The only exceptions were her beloved mother and her sister.
For Mae West, Hollywood had real unreality, and that was the way she liked it. To the end, she nobly resisted any assault on her fairytale castle. The apartment in Hollywood's Ravenswood was truly an extension of Mae West. The furniture was upholstered in eggshell white silk and satin and appeared virginal as if it had just been moved in for my visit. Once Mae had achieved perfection by her own standards, she hated any change. The celebrations of herself on display throughout the apartment evinced no false modesty. They also signified that in her mid-80s she was not afraid to be in competition with her younger self.
Whenever Mae interjected one of her celebrated epigrams to make a point, she would change from a serious tone to the sultry flippancy of Diamond Lil. As she spoke, her sculpted platinum hair would swing as in a shampoo commercial.
Perhaps she didn't like to give interviews to women because she couldn't act her part. Mae West had to be there herself; she couldn't just send Diamond Lil. She pointed out that although she was Diamond Lil, Lil was not Mae because there was more to Mae West.
Mae gave me a hard look and said there was something to tell me before we "got into it".
"If you smoke," she said, "you'll have to leave the room. I don't let anyone smoke in my presence."
I assured her that this wouldn't be necessary. Her approving look indicated that I had passed an important test.
"Then you'll keep your soft skin. That's how I kept mine. I always use baby oil. But the secret is it has to be warm, and you have to have a man put it on you - all over."
Her next query had the same tone of entrapment as the smoking suggestion. She asked if I wanted a drink. I declined. She said it was a good thing because she didn't have any liquor.
"I never understood drinking. It isn't good for your looks, and it cuts down on what you are. I never wanted to cut down on what I am.
"I was indefatigable. They only just found out that I had a double thyroid. Always had it, but didn't know it. Maybe that's the source of my energy, especially my sex energy. Is that scarf because you're cold, or do you have something to hide?"
I take it off.
"That's better. Now, unbutton a few buttons. Men like it if you show them a thing or two. I dress for women and undress for men.
"When I was making a film, I would stand during the whole shooting so I wouldn't wrinkle my dress. I'd say, 'Do I want to look my best for my public that expects it of me? Or would I rather sit down?' That ain't no choice.
"First impressions are what count. It's like when you arrive at a party. That's when people take a real look at you, and if they're impressed, that's how they think of you. If your makeup fades and you get creases in your dress later, that isn't what they remember."
What would you do if you didn't make the best first impression on a man? Get a different man. I'd figure there was something wrong with him. I never needed clothes to make me feel sexy. I felt that way all the time. The nearness of an attractive man kept me in a constant state of sensual unrest.
You summed it up at the end of I'm No Angel when Cary Grant asked you, "What are you thinking about?" and you answered, "The same thing you are." That's very exciting for a man. When men sense a woman is ready for sex, they're ready right away. When men came to see me, I had to try to calm them down a little first. [Sighing] I had a lot of great love affairs. Sex and work have been the only two things in my life.
In reverse order of importance. Yeah. If I had to choose between sex and work, it was always my work I'd choose. I'm glad I didn't ever have to choose between them for more than a week, though. Since I was grown up, I've never been without either for more than a week.
What's "grown up"? Thirteen. Before that, I was finding my way.
Didn't you ever have any trouble finding a man? [Puzzled] What do you mean?
I mean one you really liked. They always found me. I could always find something to like about every man. Well, almost every man. I want to show you my mother's picture. Isn't she beautiful?
She's lovely. My mother lost a baby girl just before me, so I was her whole world. I had a sister and a brother, but they came along later. I was never jealous of my sister and brother. In my whole life, I've never envied anyone. I was too busy thinking about myself. Some people thought I should see a psychiatrist, but why spoil a good thing? It's better not to know everything about each other.
My mother wanted to be an actress. She finally got that through me. I took her out on the stage with me for a curtain call before she died. The success I had was worth it for my mother to come and take that bow with me. That meant more than any diamonds.
When I was a little girl, my father built me a stage in the basement of our Brooklyn brownstone. My father wasn't as sure as my mother about me going on the stage so young. He said, "Let her have a chance, but if she gets stage fright, she'll have to wait till she's older." Stage fright! Can you imagine? I didn't know the meaning of the word. Still don't. My mother didn't listen to my father. She knew I could do anything I wanted.
Very few of us have the opportunity to live out our fantasies. An actress may have that opportunity. Being an actress and a writer both - that's the best thing you could be because you can be anyone you want. You just write yourself the part, and then you play it. Say, do you want to know about my first love affair? It was when I was five. I made my debut in Brooklyn at the Royal Theatre. It was my first love affair with my audience, and it's lasted all my life. That was the only one that ever really counted. No man could equal that. I ached for it, the spotlight, which was like the strongest man's arms around me, like an ermine coat.
Of what in your career are you proudest? I saved Paramount Pictures. They were selling out. But my pictures made so much money for them, they were able to stay in business during the 30s. They oughta have a statue of me. At least a bust.
[Indicating a nude statue in her living room] Like that? No. One of Diamond Lil in a beautiful dress. After Diamond Lil, sex was more out in the open. I'm proud of that because I always believed that sex was nothing to be ashamed of.
Do you think sex is better with love? Honey, sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love - that's not so bad either. Sex is the best exercise for developing everything. It's very good for the complexion and the circulation. I've always had the skin of a little girl. Go ahead touch it. [I touch her skin.] That's all real. I didn't ever have to lift anything.
Do you remember when you first thought about sex? I can't remember when I didn't. I always played with boys. They used to gather round me. I liked to see how each one kissed. A man's kiss is his signature.
I always liked having a lot of men around. On a rainy night, it's like having more than one book to choose from, only better. I never could understand women who would almost die over one man. When you get rid of one, you don't want to sit around moping. When you mope, your mouth turns down; it puts lines on your face. There isn't any man in the world worth getting lines over.
Too many women wait around depending on men to bring them happiness. I didn't depend on men for mine. I knew how to handle men. I have a code though: No drinking, no smoking, and no married men. There are enough men to go around.
My best lover was a Frenchman who would pick me up after Diamond Lil and take me to the other theatre to rehearse Pleasure Man. One Saturday night we were at it till four the next afternoon. Like I always said, "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men."
What kind of "life" do you look for in a man? Fire. A man can be short and dumpy, but if he has fire, women will like him.
Who were some of the men who had that fire? John Barrymore wasn't so bad. I wouldn't have minded playing with him. In a movie, that is.
You mean you'd rather have had him as a leading man in a film than as a lover? If I'd had to make the choice, yeah. Because movies are forever, and sex doesn't last.
I gather that most of the men with whom you've had affairs were not performers. You weren't in the bedroom with us, honey. With me, they were all good performers.
Do you think being a lady means something different now from what it did? One thing that's changed is talking about it as a value. You were a good girl or a bad girl. I was a bad girl with a good heart. I don't think things have changed so much. It's still a man's world, with men making the rules that suit them best.
Which time was better for women? I think it was better then. Now a woman's expected to do it, and the man doesn't even have to court her. The woman used to be a bigger prize.
You've gotta have plenty of self-esteem, nerve, and be bold in life. I've been liberated all my life. I always did what I wanted to do. I was an original. I didn't understand then what films meant, every new generation rediscovering you. When I first came out here, I didn't understand how important Hollywood was going to be.
Do you find Hollywood greatly changed now? The star system's gone. I was a real star.
Are there any ways you feel you're different from the public image of Mae West? I'm glad you asked that. When people think you're funny, they start to laugh at everything you say. There was a lot of serious reflection in what I said. And I was always writing.
I know you're especially proud of your writing. The secret of it is to keep everything moving. Don't let the audience think of the dishes. You need to have some lines they can take away, like songs they go away humming. Do you type or write longhand?
I write longhand. That's the only way I could do it. They offered to teach me to type when I was in prison. Did you know I was in prison?
Yes. But you weren't an ordinary prisoner. I was never an ordinary anything. I had to stand trial because of my show, Sex. They said I could pay the fine, but I decided it would be more interesting to go to prison. They told me I had to wear prison clothes, but I said I was bringing my own underwear. I wore my silk underwear the whole time.
How do you feel about censorship? I believe in censorship! If a picture of mine didn't get an X rating, I'd be insulted. Don't forget, dear - I invented censorship. Imagine censors that wouldn't let you sit in a man's lap. I've been in more laps than a napkin! They'd get all bothered by a line like "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
You might say I created the Hays Office. I'm a kind of godmother to the Motion Picture Code. Now they use nudity and talking dirty to take the place of a good story. I didn't have to take off my clothes. Men imagined what was under them.
A man's imagination is a woman's best friend. Do you know what question I'm asked most? About the mirrors on my bedroom ceiling. I say, "I like to see how I'm doin'." You can go look at my bedroom.
[As in the living room, everything in the bedroom was white. The perfectly made bed was covered with a white satin spread.]
Did you like what you saw?
I did. It's one of the most famous bedrooms in the world. The most famous. What did you think of my bed?
I thought what an interview it might give! I wish I could've shown you my beach house. But I sold it. I never lost any money in art or real estate. Money is sexy for men, but people don't find it feminine for a woman to talk about it. So, you don't have to talk about it, just have it. The real security is yourself.
Do you think money buys happiness? No, but money is a great love potion for an affair. It buys a good bed with clean linens and time to enjoy it all. If you have money, you don't have to worry about it, and worrying spoils your looks.
What are you calling your book?
Do you have a suggestion? [After thinking for a moment] You could call the book "Mae West and others". That's "others" with a small "o", and I want to be first. Being first is important in life.
For you, what's the most important thing in life? My career is everything. Always was. I never changed. Inside, I feel like the same little girl I was. But it was the way I grew up outside that men liked.
What do you think men like in a woman besides physical beauty? That's what men care about, except in their wives. Men admire devotion in their wives, beauty in other women.
It seems to me that for the world a woman is the way she looks, and a man is what he does. A man should take as good care of his body as a woman does. I liked physically strong men who could fight over me. I didn't incite them. They just did it. What have you got there?
A camera. I was hoping ... I don't have my picture taken with other women. I never like to see myself in a picture, except surrounded by men. You should always keep the best picture of yourself in your own head. If you don't think you're wonderful, why should anyone else? I don't usually go on talking so much. You know, honey, I see something men must like about you: You're a brilliant listener!
It's easy. I've had a wonderful time. Do you know my idea of a wonderful time? Sex and chop suey.
Together? No. The chop suey tastes better after. Chop suey, sex, and my career. My work was the most fun. Sex was second best. You've gotta conserve your sex energy in order to do your work. The sex drive is behind everything creative we do. The stronger the sex drive, the stronger the desire to create. People who want one thing more want everything more. But there are moments to slow down. I don't like a man that's in a hurry. "I like a guy what takes his time."
[I gather up my things to leave.]
Don't forget your baby oil. But remember what I told you: It's gotta be warm, and you've gotta have a man put it on - all over.
[Just as I was leaving, she called me back.]
Honey, there's something I want to tell you before you go. You know, my diamonds I told you all those men gave me? I wanted you to know - I bought some of them myself.
